[ Wade puts his hands over the dome of his mask and makes a dismayed sound. This isn't good. Innocent, unworldly Barbie, complete with all the bits Mattel smoothed over with hard plastic? That's a recipe for disaster. Wade, being the absolutely worst person he knows, decides to break the pattern so many other girls face when it comes to their own bodies. ]
Okay. I'm just gonna throw this out there, you can totally say no - no hard feelings. I'm not lost on the irony of a cis-gendered man offering unsolicited advice to a woman.... but I feel like you're jumping into a very deep pool with absolutely nothing to prepare you.
Where are we at with the whole self-love stage of this? [ He waves a gloved hand down towards his junk area. ] Have you tried investigating that whole thing?
[ that's not true, it's a very big deal. but she'd been busy figuring out what it means to be human. sex was the kind of thing she assumed would happen sooner or later, and Barbie had hoped she'd figure it out when she was ready.
but now there's this world and there's Deadpool. two things nothing in the Real World could have prepared her for.]
...No.
[ because she thought she'd have time for that, okay?]
Even I know this is completely inappropriate and I have - hah - zero impulse control.
[ Wade shakes his head at himself, he's getting ahead of himself. ]
Let me put together a little care package... if you will. Before you start wading too deep in this kink pool, let's start you off on more solid footing than most girls get.
[ The patriarchy has done a fucking NUMBER on them. ]
I'm not suggesting we do anything, I'm just gonna offer some insights. The rest is up to you.
[ He claps a gloved hand to his breastplate, his voice sincere. He feels like he's brimming with noble cause. But also, Barbie's super hot, so... ]
I would consider it an honor to introduce the Barbie to self-love.
[ he's right, people are really kinky here. and she's learned that just from what she's observed on the streets. she can't imagine what goes on behind closed doors.
and he's...been really kind to her so far. so there's no reason not to go along with this.]
[ Okay, this means he needs to make it snappy. Time to call in a favor with a certain pirate. ]
How soon are we talking? Like... within the next 48 hours, or...?
[ He's already mentally doing the math of everything he thinks he'll need. Not with himself in mind, but things he wishes someone had told him about rather than a boatload of childhood trauma. Let's break the cycle, people! ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ what she was saying. and it's one of those topics that's kind of awkward to talk about (especially to a man in a mask).]
That wasn't what I meant, but yeah. That's true, too.
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[ Wade puts his hands over the dome of his mask and makes a dismayed sound. This isn't good. Innocent, unworldly Barbie, complete with all the bits Mattel smoothed over with hard plastic? That's a recipe for disaster. Wade, being the absolutely worst person he knows, decides to break the pattern so many other girls face when it comes to their own bodies. ]
Okay. I'm just gonna throw this out there, you can totally say no - no hard feelings. I'm not lost on the irony of a cis-gendered man offering unsolicited advice to a woman.... but I feel like you're jumping into a very deep pool with absolutely nothing to prepare you.
Where are we at with the whole self-love stage of this? [ He waves a gloved hand down towards his junk area. ] Have you tried investigating that whole thing?
no subject
[ that's not true, it's a very big deal. but she'd been busy figuring out what it means to be human. sex was the kind of thing she assumed would happen sooner or later, and Barbie had hoped she'd figure it out when she was ready.
but now there's this world and there's Deadpool. two things nothing in the Real World could have prepared her for.]
...No.
[ because she thought she'd have time for that, okay?]
no subject
[ Wade shakes his head at himself, he's getting ahead of himself. ]
Let me put together a little care package... if you will. Before you start wading too deep in this kink pool, let's start you off on more solid footing than most girls get.
[ The patriarchy has done a fucking NUMBER on them. ]
I'm not suggesting we do anything, I'm just gonna offer some insights. The rest is up to you.
[ He claps a gloved hand to his breastplate, his voice sincere. He feels like he's brimming with noble cause. But also, Barbie's super hot, so... ]
I would consider it an honor to introduce the Barbie to self-love.
no subject
[ he's right, people are really kinky here. and she's learned that just from what she's observed on the streets. she can't imagine what goes on behind closed doors.
and he's...been really kind to her so far. so there's no reason not to go along with this.]
What do I need to know?
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[ Gesturing at eye-level on his over six-foot-tall frame. ]
Pick a date and a time and... I'll take care of the rest.
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[ comfy, maybe. if she's lucky.]
Uh...sooner's probably better than later. The way everyone talks, quota happens whether you're ready for it or not.
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How soon are we talking? Like... within the next 48 hours, or...?
[ He's already mentally doing the math of everything he thinks he'll need. Not with himself in mind, but things he wishes someone had told him about rather than a boatload of childhood trauma. Let's break the cycle, people! ]
no subject
[ no money, no friends, and she can't really go to the Up, so she's going to lay low for now.]
And - thanks, Wade. This is totally weird, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate it.